did you get engaged???
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
