thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
