I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
