Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
