i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize