I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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