i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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