Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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