Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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