I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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