I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You are the jesus of drinking
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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