So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
