oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
