So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
