Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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