Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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