Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
