the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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