She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
