plz talk dirty to me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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