508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
