Already got asked if we're dating
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
