I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
