Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
