Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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