Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
