AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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