There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
