we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
