I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
