I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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