a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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