i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
