recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
