my vag is so smooth its legendary
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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