haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
