Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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