dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
