I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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