I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
