Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
