yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
