so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
