Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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