I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
