her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
