the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wear drunk well.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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