I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
