Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
