Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
