I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
