obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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