woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i think im in europe. pls send help
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