Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
