your parents love me but you hate me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
