im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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