She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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