He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
