I love black thongs
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
