carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need to calm my uterus...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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