dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
