She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
