70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
