I just pynch a tree in the face
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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